Penguins to Parsnips

Penguins are birds that can't fly, like emus and cassowaries (don't google them, they're terrifically ugly). When I was, oh, eleven-ish years old I wrote a poem that featured this penguin handicap in a series of similes about the moon (excerpt - "the moon is like a penguin who can't fly back down to earth"). In this poem, I also compared the moon to a golf ball, a camel, and a new mother post-labor, but funnily enough I never mentioned anything about cheese. A popular myth about the moon is that it is made of cheese, which, to everyone's chagrin, has been proven wrong by those damn NASA scientists who claim that "moon rocks" are actually "real rocks" and not just the crusty stuff on the outside of a giant wheel of cheese (my theory is that they've just never dug deep enough into the moon to find the good stuff). Cheese is that yummy stuff that's made from cow milk. Cow milk makes a lot of other yummy things, like yogurt and frosting and cream cheese. They actually make cream cheese frosting, which is kinda gross but tastes delicious on carrot cake cupcakes. Carrots are root vegetables, just like parsnips. But carrots are better. Who ever heard of parsnip cake? No one. Because carrots rule.

Esperanto to Egg Whites.