So once upon a time I decided that I was gonna up and move to London for a semester. Having now arrived and settled myself in my flat, I can commence writing again. Only... the move has left my mind a bit jangled. See, I spent the last hour and a half on Google seeing what it would fill in if I typed "How to...", "Why do..." or "Where is..." and laughing hysterically, all alone in my room, about the fact that Google tries to tell me how to take my dog camping.
Something dangerous has happened to my brain. It's either the water or the perpetual flow of one pound lager. Possibly both.
Anyway, enough of these surrealist apologetics! On to the matter at hand:
Jupiter is a planet. Please tell me you already knew that. Let's assume you did, and move forward with this whole making assumptions business by also deciding that you probably know that it's the biggest planet in the solar system. Yes, Jupiter is the solar system's fat friend. Come on, every group has one.
But gracefully leaping off the boat of general knowledge into the dark and turbid waters of random, internet-generated information, here are some other things you should know about Jupiter:
It is actually shaped not like a sphere, but oblate spheroid, which means that not only is it fat, it's lumpy. And how fat IS Jupiter exactly? Its mass is 2.5 times greater than the all of the other planets in the solar system combined. To give you an idea of this on a smaller scale, if Jupiter was a person every aspect of its wardrobe would contain elastic, and labels with a number of L's that even a fluent Welsh speaker would find intimidating.It's a bigass planet.
Perhaps because of all the fat jokes made about it by the other planets, Jupiter has a hard, rocky core. And severe self-esteem issues.
Jupiter and I also have something in common (apart from the severe self-esteem issues, and hard, rocky core). We both have a large, red spot. Mine is on the back of my head--cleverly hidden by what I may flatter myself by calling a singular and spectacular haircut-- while Jupiter's is located 22 degrees south of the planet's equator. Also, Jupiter's spot is an anticyclonic storm and larger than the earth, so I guess actually they're not that similar, when you think about it. While I can only be reasonably sure that my spot is in fact a birthmark, and not a large-scale circulation of winds around a central region of high atmospheric pressure, I can be completely sure that it is not larger than earth.
Point is, Jupiter has a spot, and it's red.
Know what else is circular and red? No, not clown noses. Don't be a dick. Besides, those are spheres. Focus.
A target. A target is circular and red AND TWO DIMENSIONAL SO IT IS IN FACT A CIRCLE. Okay, several circles. You know what, never mind. Jasper Johns painted a lot of works based on targets, targets look like the red spot on Jupiter, end of story.
In a slightly related but fascinating side note, I had no idea who Jasper Johns was until I "researched" him for this. And by researched I mean googled. Point is, my confidence in my artist knowledge has been taken down a peg. Well played, blog, well played.
Ocelots to Organic Farming.
Jasper Johns was also best friends with Robert Rauschenberg, one of my all-time favorite artists (they were, in turn, also friends with Cy Twombly, Merce Cunningham, and John Cage). In fact, Uncle Bob (Rauschenberg's nephew has an art studio near my mom's, hence the moniker) was kinda lovers with Johns and Twombly (probably not at once). Also maybe the others, but maybe not. All their work is amazing. Rauschenberg's bed is definitely inspired by both Johns and Twombly. Go look at it - it's awesome.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I paint in my bed, I worry that that will happen. But less in an artistic way, and more in a "I fell asleep in acrylics OHGODIT'SINMYHAIR!" way.
ReplyDeleteHowever, it's awesome, so I'm torn.
Also, I love how you know all these people.